Mums at War: How to Respond to Mummy Bullying

Mums at War: How to Respond to Mummy Bullying

British journalist, Katie Hopkins was branded a ‘Mummy Bully’ for publicly mummy bullying and shaming Kelly Clarkson about her weight gain.

Hopkins stated that this also made her a bad role model for her child as she was fat.

Kelly Clarkson is only one of the millions of mums around the world suffering from painful attacks from mummy bullying. 

Her celebrity status did not give her the immunity from mummy bullying and being shamed for her weight. 

Mummy bullying and shaming happens every day and there is a mummy bully in almost all social settings including:

  • Schools;
  • Playgrounds; 
  • Mothers/parents groups;
  • Homes; 
  • Families, and 
  • Most certainly, on social media. 

For many mums, they may feel the social pressure of being the ‘perfect mum’ and this causes a lot of stress. 

Add on top of that a mummy bully and shamer – the pressure can become too much to handle, and even traumatic. 

Anyone who is being mummy bullied or shamed needs to take a page out of Clarkson’s book. 

She showed that there is a pleasant way to respond to mummy bullying that is fierce and strong, with graceful compassion and composure. 

Kelly Clarkson’s response was epic and eloquent!

 ‘That’s because she doesn’t know me. I’m awesome! It doesn’t bother me, it’s a free world. Say what you will. I’ve just never cared what people think. It’s more if I’m happy and I’m confident and feeling good, that’s always been my thing. And more so now, since having a family – I don’t seek out any other acceptance.’

Background on Mummy Bullying

The Money Makers:

Mummy bullying and shaming has been spawned from money making industries that only have their interests at the heart of their intentions:

  • Fashion;
  • Beauty and Cosmetics;
  • Dieting and Weight Loss;
  • Fitness, and
  • Media.

These are commercial interests that thrive on the desires and vulnerabilities of others. 

Marketing strategists are motivated to play games with women’s emotions, thoughts, beliefs, need to belong and insecurities. 

They make billions of dollars every year from you! 

Reality Check 101 – If you believe that their product is going to make you better and PERFECT then you have believed the hype! 

Perfection is NOT REAL!

You are human and therefore, you will never be perfect. 

Stop believing in the hype and do yourself a favour – find out what makes you uniquely you and follow your own path.

The Judges:

Unfortunately, because of the drive from the ‘Money Makers’, society has become more and more narcissistic and materialistic. 

People are becoming more judgemental and critical and less empathetic and understanding. 

They judge people by what they look like and what they have versus who they are. 

Insecurity drives the Judges! 

They have to put others down and criticise them to make themselves feel better and superior. 

Social media has given these people a platform whereby, they can never really know the person and say horrible and demeaning things. 

They are cowards as they hide behind the safety of a screen and never have to face the reality of their words or actions! 

Advice for You

How do you respond to any mummy bullying when you encounter it? 

We’ve listed three (3) classic responses that you can use. 

It is important for you to keep in mind that the best way to deal with a bully is not to give them power or your time of day. 

Never attack back and have clever and empowering diffusing responses ready.  

Response #1: Perfection is NOT REAL

You were born to be real,

NOT to be perfect!

A mummy bully is likely obsessed with perfection. 

They strive to be perceived as perfect and want others around them to reflect their perfect life – children, husband, friends etc… 

But experts say nobody’s perfect and EVERYONE HAS FLAWS. 

Imperfection is part of being human and the human experience.

If you’re human, you’re not perfect. 

You can best respond to this type of mummy bulling with the most human response – ‘it’s OKAY not to be perfect because I’m human’.

Response #2: Health and Balance is The Centre of Life

The fitness and diet trend is on the rise. 

Marketing strategists, companies and narcissistic individuals (on social media) are targeting mums and making them feel:

  • Embarrassed about their bodies;
  • Ashamed that they are not ‘in shape and fit’;
  • Guilty about eating, and
  • Lazy if they take time off to rest and recover after having a baby.

Yes, it is good to be physically fit and to eat a healthy and balanced diet. 

It is NOT OKAY to be obsessed by calories, exercise, body weight, body shape, shaming yourself and others. 

This leads to very unhealthy behaviours and very poor role modelling for children. 

It is time to decide what type of role model you would like to be for your children:

  • Obsessed; self-critical; insecure; looks are more important than who you are; exercise obsessively because you have to and if you don’t you are lazy; have a poor relationship with food, and overall you are stressed, controlling and anxious, OR
  • Balanced; self-accepting; secure within yourself; value yourself and others; have a good relationship with food and exercise for enjoyment, and are generally calm, organised and flexible.

Health is the key to living a healthy and happy life. 

This is unique for everyone however, if you keep the word ‘health’ at the centre of all of your thoughts and role modelling, you won’t go wrong.

Related: Parents Role Model Emotional Eating

Response #3: I’m Awesome! – Shout it Out!

Yes, you are awesome! 

So, shout it out loud for the world to hear! 

Sadly, those who judge you strongly for being a mum are those who do not know much about you. 

Most of them are on social media or at school drop off and pick up. 

Social media can be powerful channels that can provide positive and negative influences. 

A mummy bully on social media brags about how easy it is for a mum to achieve 6-pack abs with the right motivation minus laziness. 

These mummies are trying to shame other mothers and they make money off it! 

Don’t give them the time of day or another thought. 

Put yourself into the class of people like Kelly Clarkson who do the same and know that you are awesome, too!