Your Language and Self-Talk Matters

Your Language and Self-Talk Matters

Your Mind is everything!  Your mind is the holder of your beliefs, emotions, habits, behaviours, memories, fears, dreams, attention filters, and source of communication, including the language and self-talk you use.

The human mind tends to lean more towards negative thinking and engaging more deeply in negative self-talk. You may experience having a harsh inner critic, which traps you in worry, Stress, Anxiety or low-self worth.

This is normal for most people and if you experience negative self-talk in your day, you are definitely not alone.

Even though positivity is nicer to feel, negativity can be addictive. For people who have chronic negative thinking, or self-talk, you struggle to pull yourself away from this and it has a negative impact on your:

  • Mental and emotional health;
  • Physical health;
  • Relationships;
  • Work, and
  • Entire life experiences.

Your Language and Words Matter!

When you are creating change, and moving towards your goals, it is important to be mindful of the language and self-talk you use.

You may attempt to talk yourself up with affirmations or encouraging words. When you do this it is important that the words you are using aren’t creating an unconscious barrier to you moving forward.

Here are some examples of phrases that might have positive intentions behind them, but still have underlying tones of negative bias:

  • I should go for a walk today.
  • I shouldn’t eat this.
  • I need to stop procrastinating, and
  • I should get started today.

Language with negative bias denotes problems, complaints, rules or conflict, and without knowing it, you may be blocking or shutting down your progress with the language and words you are using.

Whereas, positive language is infinitely more uplifting and leaves a powerful optimistic impact on your achievements and encourages your Growth Mindset.

Related: Positive Language Improves Your Mindset

Use the following four (4) tips to turn your language and self-talk around to improve your achievements, success and goals:

Tip #1 – Optimism vs Pessimism

You can train your brain to unlearn pessimistic thinking and learn to have a more optimistic outlook. To be optimistic, you will have hope and confidence in yourself as you are today, and for your future.

Here are some examples of changing your self-talk and language from pessimistic to optimistic:

Pessimistic Optimistic
Things aren’t going my way today. I am grateful for today and the lessons I am learning.
I never reach my goals. I am on my way!
I should write down what I have achieved – it’s not much. I am acknowledging my progress. Every step forward, even if it’s a little step, is progress.
I didn’t achieve today. I am becoming who I want to be one day at a time.
I might as well give in. I need to be gentle on myself like I would with a friend.

Before going any further, just take a moment to notice what happens physically, mentally and emotionally, when you read the pessimistic or negative bias statements.

Now, read the optimistic and positive statements and notice these same things. How was the experience different? What did you notice?

You may have noticed that the optimistic statements changed your energy, created feelings of positivity and even hope and allowed you to feel like you can keep moving forward.

If you can shift your perspective and language into the positive, your quality of life and how you experience life, will improve.

Tip #2 – Positive Words Overcome Mindset Blocks and Barriers

When you focus on negative words or concepts, you’re stopping yourself in your tracks – creating unconscious barriers to you achieving your goals.

Using positive language will help you nurture your Growth Mindset and will allow you to keep moving forward towards your goals.

Overcome barriers and blocks by simply being kind and strong with your words. For example,

Old outdated negative language:

I ate a chocolate bar today when I was feeling stressed. I am a failure and should just go get another one because I’ve ruined today.

This type of language and self-talk leads to more binge eating, hating on yourself, and not getting back on track.

New positive and encouraging language:

I ate a chocolate bar when I was stressed. The day isn’t over. I will let this go with some deep breaths and use one of my healthy stress management options, to keep moving forward. My next meal will be what I packed for lunch. I am achieving my goals and I am learning new behaviours for managing stress. I can do this!

This new positive self-talk encourages you to accept that you might not have done what you really wanted to do however, you understand that you are not perfect and are human.

This means you can move forward quickly and get back on track.

You didn’t catastrophise and make this one (1) moment more meaningful and powerful than it was. You understood it and actioned your positive strategy. This meant that you didn’t spiral into a Binge Mindset or behaviour. . .


Tip #3 – Words and Language Matter!

Even if you tweek one (1) word in your sentence, you can make a big difference to your Mindset and perceptions. This will propel you forward and you will start to make leaps and bounds in your progress towards your goals.

Here are just a few examples of small words you CAN change:

Negative  Positive 
I shouldn’t I choose
I should I will
I never I sometimes
I always I do
I can’t I can
I won’t I will!

Tip #4 – The Power of Positivity

From the above examples you can see that Positivity is POWERFUL! And by using the power of positivity you can build behaviours and actions which are supportive of your goals, even if you have a setback.

This is a lot of information and I would love to hear from you what you WILL change to create a positive Mindset for yourself using optimistic, affirming and caring language.

Comment below – I would love to hear from you.

Kristy’s Weight Loss Journey and Life Lessons

Kristy’s Weight Loss Journey and Life Lessons

Where It All Started . . .

I have a four (4) year old daughter, and like me she’s likes to eat. Her passion of eating reminded me of me as a child and how I was brought up. Having her brought up a lot of issues from my childhood which were always there on the surface, but she helped me to face a lot of those issues.

I didn’t want history to repeat itself.

My mother put me on my first diet when I was 10 years old. I didn’t want my issues with food to become my daughter’s issues with food. From that I had feelings of self-loathing.

I was pretty sad and that’s what sort of brought me to the clinic.

Making The Decision To Seek Help:

I didn’t want history to repeat itself so when I saw it was starting to I wanted to put a stop to it.

Something just finally clicked inside me I don’t know it took me 4 years but something finally clicked, and I personally felt as if I was guided to the clinic.

I was Google searching one day, ‘food addiction’ and the service popped up. I think it was one of the first things on the Google search and it was in the north side.

I had just recently moved to the north side and I just went with my gut instinct, and was very thankful that I did.

I learned that I had a really intense loathing of myself.

I couldn’t look myself in the mirror.

I couldn’t say a nice thing to myself.

Loving yourself involves a lot of pieces and it’s a daily battle especially if you don’t have the necessary training from early on in life – being your parents – but it’s something that you need to work on for yourself firstly and then others after that.

Coming into the service I had to learn to self-parent myself and to be honest self-parenting probably saved me.

I feel like it saved me, along with the tools that I was given. I also meditated and journal a lot.

I realised my habits weren’t the best habits to have had, food and alcohol played a massive part in socialising. They were all habits that I learned early on.

I guess I was trying to find the love for myself and to know that I don’t need to turn to food and alcohol to find that happy person, or I’ve just learned a lot about myself.

Living Life Versus Existing In Life – Pulling Down The Barriers And Obstacles:

Finding out who I really am and why my life panned out the way it did, learning to let go and to stop people pleasing. Putting other persons needs above my own, which I was really bad at.

Being able to finally make a decision, whereas before I would chop and change and could not make a decision to save my life.

I also don’t allow guilt to dictate what I choose for myself.

Learning to talk to myself in a much nicer way and I’m loving finding out who I really am and not feeling like I need to hide myself any more.

I tried many times before I seen people before to help with my depression and anxiety. But I finally felt like I found someone who was willing to show me a better way and not just talk the usual psychology mumbo jumbo, as I like to call it, but I knew that I finally found somebody who wasn’t going to give up on me.

I was shown a better way and I showed her I could do it a better way too. I was ready to do the work.

Related: Kate’s Journey and Life Lessons

Being Ready To Start Your Journey:

One hundred percent (100%) it`s not, you know you can see fifty (50) different people but you have to be really given the work, but I also feel as if you really need to be given the proper tools and that was given to me. And it was the right time.

The right time, the right person, one hundred percent (100%)

Valued Life Lessons Learned From The Journey

Life Lesson 1

Self-parenting was massive for me, being taught to parent myself.

I didn’t have the best parental upbringing.

Learning to talk to the little girl inside of me in a much nicer way has helped me to be nicer to myself as an adult, because I wasn’t very nice to myself.

I regularly go back now in my meditation and I give the little girl, the little me, I give her cuddles and I tell her that I love her now and I never used to do that.

Life Lesson 2

It’s ok to do things to make me happy, and to be who I am.  

 I used to stifle that and I believe that it is imperative to do things for myself in order for me to be the best person, mother, wife, friend that I can be. Much happier.

Letting Go of Mothers Guilt

I had a wonderful hypnosis that helped me to let go of the guilt. It was a great, great experience.

I no longer feel that guilt anymore.

I used to get pretty much daily, but I know it’s ok to do things for myself now and to make myself happy and it isn’t going to be to the detriment of my family, in fact it`s probably for the better.

That I’m finally doing things for myself and that I’m not allowing guilt to play a part in my life, as we just said before guilt was a massive deal for me.

The hypnosis session definitely helped in letting that go. I’ve never had hypnosis before and I wasn’t a hundred percent (100%) sure how it was going to go, but it turned out to be the best thing ever.

All feelings of guilt have now dissipated.

I now don’t get anxious when I’m out doing things for myself. I don’t have the feeling or I don’t get the anxious feeling I used to get now when I was out doing things for myself.

I would often feel like I would need to rush home because it was my job to care for my family, now I don’t have that, now I’ve finally given myself permission to do thing for myself and to be happy.

Old habits die hard but occur less often

Food choices are a daily battle but there nowhere near as bad as it was before. I believe because, I have that self-parent tool and I’m still doing it daily and I believe it will be something that one day get easier but it takes time to get over a life time of issues relating to those sorts of things so it will get better I know it.

Advice for others……

You really do need to be ready to make that change.

People talk about a switch, and it’s true, you really need to hit that point where you feel like enough is enough you can`t keep living your life the way that you are.

You need to do it not for others but for yourself.

Even though I suffered through years of people pleasing and guilt-ridden fear based hell as I call it, it really was just the right time for me in my head to make the change.

I feel like even though I didn’t love myself much when I, well at all when I started, I must have loved myself just enough to get to that point, to get the help.


If you are like Kristy and are ready to take that first step towards healing with support from a weight loss psychologist, then Fit Minds & Bodies Clinic can help you. 

Book an appointment with Fit Minds & Bodies Clinic and begin to create a healthy relationship with food, your body and ultimately yourself!

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